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A mystery snapper took pictures of a of Premier League stars in the shower, including Bellamy, goalkeeper Joe Hart and Michael Owen of Manchester United, and posted them to Twitter.

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The billionaires had planned to tear up the whole fabric of the European game until their scheme fell apart amid public outcry; this definitely warranted an apology. The thing to remember with a panenka is that if you want to score it, you have to sell it.

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This is why Sergio Ramos loves panenkas so much. He has scored so many at this point that you wonder why any goalkeeper bothers to dive against him. As he placed the ball on the spot, he found himself confronted with the leaping, gurning figure of Joe Hartwho was evidently trying to play some kind of mind game. A technique that relies on subverting expectations works best when there is a crowd whose massed expectation you can also subvert. The panenka works best at moments of the highest seriousness, when nobody is anticipating a trick.

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The last of these had been booted almost clean out of the stadium by Jaap Stam, who had hopelessly miscalibrated his power settings. If the panenka is most effective when a desperate crowd is willing the goalkeeper to produce the dive of a lifetime, maybe you are better off avoiding it when the stadium is empty and so quiet the keeper might be able to hear your thoughts. He was angry with himself because he should have scored the opening goal a couple of minutes earlier, only to take a bad touch which encouraged Raheem Sterling to steal the chance off his toe.

The panenka was an attempt to reassert mastery. Although a botched Joe hart naked is in real terms no more costly than any other penalty miss, it feels worse, as though you have squandered the chance without even properly trying to score. But the apology was the next level of pathos. Monday — Sunday, October 11th — 17th. Please update your payment details to keep enjoying your Irish Times subscription. Ken Early. Yes, objectively it was a terrible penalty.

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